Healthy boundaries

Everybody knows what boundaries are:

Boundaries are limits I set

on other people's behaviour

that I expect them to respect and adhere to.

And everyone knows the language:

• "Don't ask me to cover for you."
• "Don't ask me to do your job."
• "Don't show up late for the meeting tomorrow."

But if these are the kind of boundaries you set, you're in for trouble, because you can't enforce them. They'll only work if others respect them, so you really have no control over them.

Here's an alternate definition of boundaries:

Boundaries are limits I set

on my own behaviour

that I respect and adhere to.

Compare these to the list above:

• "I won't cover for you."
• "I won't do your job for you."
• "The meeting starts at 9:00 a.m. sharp tomorrow."

Now you have clear boundaries that don't depend on anyone else for their success!